What I am (currently) looking for

It’s not a guy to sleep with. Or a boyfriend. Or a new sibling. Or a gaming buddy. Or a lifetime partner (not yet). Right now, I’m looking for a confidante. Yes, you read that right. I need someone to listen to me and hopefully tell me where I should go or do next. But then that would defeat the meaning of living. God this sucks.

Its just that right now, things are getting crazier by the week. The deadlines are getting shorter, and the pressure is growing. The motivation and inspiration to work is declining. I don’t know about them cold-heart high ranks, but I have emotions too. I am human, I get stressed out. I feel sad. I want to rest too. I could choose not to go to class, but I have to comply. I want to keep my record as clean as possible.

Why not a current friend? Interesting question. Wait, maybe, not really. Anyway, with the things I want to gush out on, I need a neutral person, a third party, just to hear me out on all this. My insecurities on me, my performance in school, my social life and people involved. I don’t know, really. I just need to get this all out of my system, and sadly for me, writing it all out wouldn’t help. I believe in respecting these people’s private lives and with that, I won’t spill here… even though this is a blog. I just need to get this out somewhere, I swear. And this art thing is not working on me anymore, “with all the expression of your emotion through art”. Its not working. And I don’t know why. Maybe its because art is actually where I am at (I’m in art school, and pressure really kills here with all the energy drinks you need to drink.)

One time I went to our school counselor. And it helped. But my swings just keep on coming back to me. Its not the period I swear to God. But I think I can’t go back to her again. And I dont think going back there would be the same as before.

Still, there’s nothing wrong with it right? All I want is someone who has that neutrality to listen me rant out. I don’t hate the world. I just hate what I’ve been doing upon myself recently. I hate myself. Why do these things keep happening? God, help me, please.

The Locator

Have you recently lost a precious object? It doesn’t really matter, whether if its a 24-carat diamond, or just that trinket your fourth grade best friend gave to you. Why am I even asking this in the first place? It’s because having to find a lost object is part of my dream ability. It’s no biggie, really. All I just want to be able to locate where an object is, especially on dire times. I just hate the feeling when I misplace a very important object, and I need the object right away, and I have to spend a great deal of time just for searching the little thing. The feeling really ticks me off. And since it’s just a super power I’d like to have, it would be great if I could help other people find their missing objects… And oh the feeling of being able to help others! That feeling is the best! That would be great, yes indeed.

How would it even go in the first place? Well here’s how my wild imagination goes with my dream super power.

Well, so here I am looking for my misplaced object, and let’s name this object, Timmy. All I need to have is a memory of Timmy. So within that memory is Timmy himself; the color, the texture, the shape, where he’s been last seen… everything about Timmy! And after Timmy’s form has been registered in my mind, I would have that inclination to find Timmy immediately, to be able to go to his current location right away. I will go the distance just to reach Timmy. I will not stop until I locate him.

And after doing this finding thing for awhile, I would be called The Locator. All right, it sounds so cool and bad-ass reputation thing. Hahaha. Oh my imagination is killing me!

Let’s say Taylor is looking for her notebook, and she doesn’t know who took it and she wants it to be found. So all she has to do is to pass the memory of the missing notebook to me and then my brain will work out the details on what the notebook looks like, where the notebook is, and I will be able to locate it and give the notebook back to her!

Well, wouldn’t it be very cool to be able to locate a missing object right away? Wouldn’t it? Right?

I won’t do it for money, if you’d ask me. But if it’s something really valuable, like the stolen crown jewel of the king of some unknown country, maybe that’d be the part where I’d ask for servicing fees. Haha.

But its just an imaginary super power I’d like to have. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll really get the ability.

How about you, what’s the super power you’d like to have?

Poetic Millie’s Before I Go to Heaven

This may be the last chance I get
and it will be the last time, I bet
that you’ll still try and find me
but that won’t be the case, you see
because I’m going far away
so far away I can’t really say
I have to find someone you do not know
but it is rumored this person’s eyes glow
even in the darkest of nights there have been
and what ever else this person has seen
you see, I’m looking for this person
for this person has clear intentions
of helping those of who wish of something dire
it is said it doesn’t matter, ice or fire
this person will make it true
so let me say goodbye to you
because i know it will be a long journey
that’ll hurt each elbow and knee
but I’m more determined than ever
to search for this whoever
grants these impossible wishes
because I don’t want to part of any mess
so let me go and I shall depart
no worries because physical distance does not really keep us apart.

© MBBC 2012