CT Scan

Let this guilt consume me until you are content.
But I am heartfully sorry for that event.

I am not proud or happy with what I have done towards you all;
but I am not the absolute reason of your current downfall.

You had the responsibility of handling your own
but it seems the words you’ve said to me, went to the wrong zone

and now I’m crying, thinking that it’s all my fault
and it seems all my happiness is away in a vault

I apologize for all that I’ve done wrong, I see my fault on the scene
but that gives you no permission to be mean to me.

If possible, the incident shall not be repeated again,
but if it does, do what I’ve done to you and we’re even.

What has been done is done
so why won’t we stop this and just have some good ol’ fun?

© MBBC 2012

On A Loss

Digging the grave
of a loved one
is no easy task,
yet as well
the task of putting them
back where they came from.
The pain of losing
someone cherished
can never be measured.
All this sadness
that’s covering my heart
shall soon be washed away
with happiness and better memories.
Come back to me,
you’d say
but those who have gone are gone
long gone
you’d have to live
as if the nothing happened.
The crushed heart shall heal soon
but in time,
let me be embodied in the darkness of morose.

Veracity of Morose

do you know how much this sadness consumes me?

it consumes me like the darkest of nights, cradling me within its endless eigengrau.

it consumes me like of the sinner, who is in his life has been a devout, but all of his faith obliterated to a single mortal sin.

it consumes me like a thousand insults, burying me within the depths of nothing and solitude, that nothing else waits for me.

it consumes me like the pain of a thousand knives stabbed right into my chest and all over else, with no chance of rebirth.

it consumes me like how the artist cannot paint his picture correctly, no matter how hard he tries and tried, the emotion cannot be conveyed as he pictured it in his mind.

it consumes me like a cruel joke, it stays there for it has left a wound right over my heart, and it would take time to heal.

it consumes me like those sharp eyes of yours, it makes me think that i have not done enough, and i am much of a sinner.

it consumes me like how stranded the writer feels, when he cannot find the write words to express his deepened sentiments.

it consumes me like a fish out of water.

it consumes me, making me cave in right into the most insignificant parts of me.

it consumes me, right into the core of my guilt, that i have been ignorant and irresponsible.

this is how much sadness can consume me, more than a few sentences, more than a thousand words and pictures, it cannot be clearly explained.

 

© MBBC 2012