Monthly Archives: December 2013

Metaphors of my life: Photography: This Is No Metaphor

By Posted in Musings Misc., Photographic, Written Tagged , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

 

I have never felt so impaired my whole life.

You see, other than writing and drawing and painting, I also happen to be a photographer. And being one, my life pretty much revolves around a device that captures the light in things. Yeah, or I could just simply say the camera.

Photography has pretty much affected the way I see things. It has shown me how different things could be when you could capture them with the aid of a camera. I am no stranger to the usage of camera, for I have been acquainted with one since I was a child. But then we’d only have consumer level cameras, but that was fine; better something than nothing. Back then, I was told to be the one to get the photos, until I got so used to it that I volunteered to take the family photos. I also grew up to be camera shy, with the exception of being with my close friends and family. So when I got to art school, in freshman year, word was going around that we needed to have a DSLR camera, or else we wouldn’t be able to pass the year. So I prepped up for it, talking up to my mother that I needed one for my schooling. All sorts of persuasion were used, just for me to attain my first legit camera.

And there he was, June 26, 2012. He was a sleek black with a beautiful finish, a Nikon D5100. I couldn’t believe it; I have my first camera in my hands. It didn’t matter if he would last a few years like any other consumer DSLR. But he was my first. And I was such a hopeless romantic (up to now) that I even named him Ewan. (I named him as such because whenever I repeat the word ‘fifty-one’, coming from the camera model, I could hear Ewan. So there. Haha.) I have never felt so much happier in my life. I had a gadget of my own and he was my responsibility.

The learning came along. I passed my Photography course in art school, and now, I find myself in the upper echleon of our university’s local photography club. I will admit that I do not know the technicalities and the specifiics of photography, but I do know the basics and how to operate my camera. With this I also found friends, very good people and higher-ups to look up to. I have never expected to find such family in my school.
Soon, more photography courses came, and I made it out proudly. I even had two photos exhibited. It was such a feat to be proud of. And being under my university’s photography club, I got to shoot in some events as well. And another feat came along, I was published in the front cover of the newsletter of the said event. But I must admit, it is quite hard to be along with Canon photographers all around you. I even joined a contest under Canon Philippines marketing, Canon photomarathon: its first ever university leg. I didn’t win, but I joined for the love of photography and company. Same goes for seminars, because Nikon’s marketing here doesn’t seem to have grown as much as Canon.

But still, being a Nikon photographer, you could say I am a fangirl of Nikon, as I have items from their warehouse sales. I may not have much, but I’m on my way to collecting some of their items. I even researched on our country’s brand ambassadors and it turns out, there was no female brand ambassador for Nikon. It came as a shock, for I was expecting at least one (because Canon Philippines has two females, namely Pilar Tuason and Sara Black) but there was none. That moment sort of inspired me that if I had nothing else to do, maybe I’d really push for photography and be the first female brand ambassador of Nikon in my country.

That dream is yet far to be achieved.

Recently, I found out that my camera is a bit defective. Not as bad as a breakage, but only as minor as the rubber of my 18-55mm lens expanding due to heat. I will admit that it has been a year since I got my camera, I have been using it, and I shall accept the fact that things go broken. So due to desperation and the recent run of events, I decided to bring it to the lone sevice center. The news came to me: it had to be fixed up for three weeks. THREE WEEKS WITHOUT A LENS. So what am I to do this Christmas season? I have nothing else! My phone’s camera sucks, and parties are all over the place! Why does fixing time have to be three weeks? Couldn’t they do better than that?

I have never felt so impaired my whole life.

I have grown attached with Ewan, celebrating birthdays, documenting and covering events, shooting projects for school requirements. Right now, I have no other lenses in hand and I do not know how else I am going to shoot for my university’s highlighted Christmas celebration. Sure I have friends who might be willing to lend me their gear, but what about Christmas break? I doubt they would lend me. And New Year? I feel so impaired. I feel so useless. I do not know what to do. Sure I am considering of buying a new lens for my camera body, but I don’t have the cash yet to purchase any at all. All I have are hand me downs and cheap buys from stores.

This small obstacle has made me realize what type of person I am. I am impatient, panicky, too attached. I will admit, it is not good to be always dependent to technology when documenting the things happening around me. I guess I’ll have to stay strong in the mean time while my lens is in the repairs. I hope some miracle happens for me and my camera.

Metaphors of my Life: The Girl who Shoplifted

By Posted in Musings Misc., Written Tagged , , Leave a comment

This story happened a long time ago. And I don’t know why I’m only remembering it now.

It was a day like any other. I was probably on my way home and I just happen to make my way to the local convenience store. At the window, you could see the two ice cream freezers right beside each other. Just a few steps away the storages is the store’s guard (Yes we have that in our country). Just as I was passing by this convenience store, I noticed two girls. One was small and thin, while the other was bigger and fuller. I remember the later having her hand over the little one, saying “don’t worry, we nothing bad will happen.” For some reason, I stopped right there, watched the two girls with my eyes and saw them go right in the convenience store. Swiftly, they went over the ice cream chests and slid the cover open. Their eyes sparkled at the popsicles in the chest. The bigger girl looked over her should to see if any of the store clerks – or the guard – was being suspicious of them. Turns out, none of the adults in the store was interested to why they were there, so she just grabbed two Popsicles, hid them and exited the store as if nothing happened. As they passed by me, I saw the bigger girl give one to her friend. And though the meek one was doubtful of accepting it, she still took it and opened the Popsicles and ate it happily with her friend.

I was to go after the girls to reprimand them of what I witnessed.

Yet my feet couldn’t move. I was in shock.

And there they were talking, walking further, further away from me, as if nothing happened.

And the best I could do was nothing.

As they disappeared away from my sight, I felt helpless. I felt powerless. My conscience burned. Why didn’t I go after them and stop them? What they did was obviously wrong – more for their age! They looked like ten, eleven or twelve! Such actions should not be tolerated! That was so wrong!

A few months later that convenience store went out of business. I really don’t know why, but maybe it’s because their items were too pricey, or no one just really wanted to buy from them. The store was soon later demolished, and a famous local fast food chain stands on it. And more people came to that spot more than ever.

And for some unknown reason, that little event came back in to mind, bothering me, making me type all that I remember here.

Also, I remember another situation from way back, with me and my sister:

After doing groceries at the supermarket, we helped our mom put the things at the back of the car. And as we were about to get out of the parking spot, my sister silently called my attention and brought out a small canister of Smarties. I asked her where she got it, and she replied she got it from the groceries, near the counter, at the basket where the things you decide to leave are left. I fondly remember, she added, “and I didn’t have to pay for it!” But our mom overheard us, got the canister, left us at the car. Soon she returned with the same canister only with a piece of paper with her. She handed back the canister to us and said nothing on the way home.

You see, I may be like the girl who shoplifted at the now-demolished convenience store. Or maybe even like my sister, when we were younger. All we wanted was just to make ourselves happy with what we wanted, that we would even do the wrong means just to attain what we want. I have never looked down so low at myself. I am so human. I make mistakes, I weep, I learn and I stand back up. It’s just that we need our conscience to keep us in check, to see if we are still human. It is because being human is being innately good. We wouldn’t really steal, lie, cheat or whatever. We humans don’t naturally do that. We have innate goodness in us, given to us in birth. We shouldn’t let it go as grow. We need it, and others will need it as well. We all thrive in goodness. You may not know it, but we sure do. That’s why we feel good in every small act of kindness we do upon others.

Yeah, I hope people should do more without asking anything in return. (Yes I know, that includes me. I’ll stop being a hypocrite now,besides it’s Christmastime.)

I don’t know what would have happened to the girls who stole Popsicles from the convenience store since then, but wherever they may be now, I hope they have learned their lesson.