I have never felt so impaired my whole life.
You see, other than writing and drawing and painting, I also happen to be a photographer. And being one, my life pretty much revolves around a device that captures the light in things. Yeah, or I could just simply say the camera.
Photography has pretty much affected the way I see things. It has shown me how different things could be when you could capture them with the aid of a camera. I am no stranger to the usage of camera, for I have been acquainted with one since I was a child. But then we’d only have consumer level cameras, but that was fine; better something than nothing. Back then, I was told to be the one to get the photos, until I got so used to it that I volunteered to take the family photos. I also grew up to be camera shy, with the exception of being with my close friends and family. So when I got to art school, in freshman year, word was going around that we needed to have a DSLR camera, or else we wouldn’t be able to pass the year. So I prepped up for it, talking up to my mother that I needed one for my schooling. All sorts of persuasion were used, just for me to attain my first legit camera.
And there he was, June 26, 2012. He was a sleek black with a beautiful finish, a Nikon D5100. I couldn’t believe it; I have my first camera in my hands. It didn’t matter if he would last a few years like any other consumer DSLR. But he was my first. And I was such a hopeless romantic (up to now) that I even named him Ewan. (I named him as such because whenever I repeat the word ‘fifty-one’, coming from the camera model, I could hear Ewan. So there. Haha.) I have never felt so much happier in my life. I had a gadget of my own and he was my responsibility.
The learning came along. I passed my Photography course in art school, and now, I find myself in the upper echleon of our university’s local photography club. I will admit that I do not know the technicalities and the specifiics of photography, but I do know the basics and how to operate my camera. With this I also found friends, very good people and higher-ups to look up to. I have never expected to find such family in my school.
Soon, more photography courses came, and I made it out proudly. I even had two photos exhibited. It was such a feat to be proud of. And being under my university’s photography club, I got to shoot in some events as well. And another feat came along, I was published in the front cover of the newsletter of the said event. But I must admit, it is quite hard to be along with Canon photographers all around you. I even joined a contest under Canon Philippines marketing, Canon photomarathon: its first ever university leg. I didn’t win, but I joined for the love of photography and company. Same goes for seminars, because Nikon’s marketing here doesn’t seem to have grown as much as Canon.
But still, being a Nikon photographer, you could say I am a fangirl of Nikon, as I have items from their warehouse sales. I may not have much, but I’m on my way to collecting some of their items. I even researched on our country’s brand ambassadors and it turns out, there was no female brand ambassador for Nikon. It came as a shock, for I was expecting at least one (because Canon Philippines has two females, namely Pilar Tuason and Sara Black) but there was none. That moment sort of inspired me that if I had nothing else to do, maybe I’d really push for photography and be the first female brand ambassador of Nikon in my country.
That dream is yet far to be achieved.
Recently, I found out that my camera is a bit defective. Not as bad as a breakage, but only as minor as the rubber of my 18-55mm lens expanding due to heat. I will admit that it has been a year since I got my camera, I have been using it, and I shall accept the fact that things go broken. So due to desperation and the recent run of events, I decided to bring it to the lone sevice center. The news came to me: it had to be fixed up for three weeks. THREE WEEKS WITHOUT A LENS. So what am I to do this Christmas season? I have nothing else! My phone’s camera sucks, and parties are all over the place! Why does fixing time have to be three weeks? Couldn’t they do better than that?
I have never felt so impaired my whole life.
I have grown attached with Ewan, celebrating birthdays, documenting and covering events, shooting projects for school requirements. Right now, I have no other lenses in hand and I do not know how else I am going to shoot for my university’s highlighted Christmas celebration. Sure I have friends who might be willing to lend me their gear, but what about Christmas break? I doubt they would lend me. And New Year? I feel so impaired. I feel so useless. I do not know what to do. Sure I am considering of buying a new lens for my camera body, but I don’t have the cash yet to purchase any at all. All I have are hand me downs and cheap buys from stores.
This small obstacle has made me realize what type of person I am. I am impatient, panicky, too attached. I will admit, it is not good to be always dependent to technology when documenting the things happening around me. I guess I’ll have to stay strong in the mean time while my lens is in the repairs. I hope some miracle happens for me and my camera.
What's In My Mind... 